バイク王が高価買取できる理由
バイク王は、その高額査定と全国どこでも出張査定をしてくれる便利さで、多くの人たちから高く評価されています。
なぜバイク王は、サービスが充実している上に、高い金額でバイクを買い取ることができるのでしょうか？そこには全国展開しているというのバイク王のスケールメリットにありました。
全国に展開していて安いサービスを提供しているといえば、中古本でおなじみの「ＢＯＯＫ ＯＦＦ」がありますよね、マンガが１冊１００円で買えたり・・・。他の中古本やさんと比べても、中古本の値段は破格であり、さらに品揃えも抜群です。それと、同じようなメリットが「バイク王」にもあるのです。
この例えが、わかりやすかったか、わかりにくかったかは別として話を進めていきましょう。
バイク王が高価買取できる理由
では、いよいよバイク王がなぜ高価買取できるのかを解説していきます。
バイク1台あたりの掛かるコストが違う！
バイク王のバイク買取台数は年間約15万台※。（※2009年実績台数）バイク王では、買い取ったバイクの移送はまとめて配送業者に委託しているので、大量のバイクを１度に取り扱うことが可能、そのため運送費用などのコストが安くで済むのです。だからその分お客様のバイクを高値で買い取ることが可能なのです。
全国展開しているバイク王は出張費が違う！
全国のあらゆる地域の出張査定依頼をスピーディに対応するバイク王。それができるのは全国各地に店舗を展開しているから。そこからお客様のご自宅へ向かうので、出張コストが抑えることができるし、対応時間の迅速さ・全国どこでも出張査定が無料とサービスが充実しているのです。バイク王は、全国に91店舗！ そこからお客様のご自宅へ向かうので、その分お客様のバイクを高値で買い取ることができるのです。
実績を持つバイク王はネームバリューがちがう！
テレビやラジオ、インターネットなどを通じて全国的に広告展開をしているバイク王。なんとバイクを乗るライダーたちの知名度は97％もあるんだとか。この圧倒的なネームバリューと、徹底したコスト管理によって、お客様のバイクを高値で買い取ることができるのです。
バイク王は在庫リスクがない！
バイク王では、買い取ったバイクを店舗で展示販売する一般的なバイク販売店とは違います。バイク王では買い取ったバイクのほぼ全てをだいたい10～15日以内に全国の各オークション会場に出品します。だから在庫リスクもなく、オークション相場に限りなく近い高額で買い取ることができるのです。
バイク王の買取台数がさらに高額買取をしてくれる！？
バイク王は、年間のバイク買取台数が約１５万台を買い取り売買しているので相場を把握しニーズの高い地域に売ることが可能。さらに買い取ったバイクを全て確実に売ることができるオークションに出品。だから一台あたりの利益が薄くても、買取台数が他社の比にならないので、高く買い取ることができるのです。
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If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Hello!
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Hello!
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
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Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
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I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
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The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
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[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
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Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
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A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
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I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
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Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
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Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
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Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Why don't you write books people can read?
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The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
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The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
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Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
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I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
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The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
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I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
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The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
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Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
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Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
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Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
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